Depression.

I am going to be proactive about this.

My overall plan is to:
Improve my sleeping habits
Improve my eating habits
Exercise
Think positively
Do my homework

Tomorrow, I will:
Wake up at 10 AM, no later.
Wake up to a large breakfast.
Do my Spanish and English homework.
Attend the Festival Isis meeting at Trump Tower at 2 PM.
Eat again.
Go with coworkers to Fabric shop to determine which fabrics will serve best as tablecloths for each respective Gala.
Go back home and work on Festival Isis Marketing campaign.
Eat dinner.
Work on more homework.
Snack on some yummy fruits.
Perform cognitive therapy on self.

Um, okay so I'll exercise another day. No biggie right? O_o


This post was written for me. Please do not comment. Depression is an ugly thing, and it has encompassed me so wholly, so entirely that had I been considered ugly before, it should be of no consequence when compared to the absolute hideousness that has become of me. I can feel the very whole of my being shrink as time goes by, and I feel myself imploding into a deep chasm of black gravity.

Curiosity has gotten me into this mess, but I know hope can get me out. She just hasn't left the box yet.

Please take care of my heart when I cannot. I'll take care of the rest.

I implore you.

Take care of my heart.

If you do not approve of my dreams, then silently disapprove. If you find my actions disagreeable, take no notice of them. If you find my plight abominable, have nothing to do with me.

I do not wish for your approval or your validation of my dreams, nor can I stoop in wishing for your disapproval or censure. Indeed, that is something anyone may very well easily do, but I ask that you at least allow me the liberty of discerning for myself my follies and faults, and I ask that you fight that urge to rob a person of her decided lunacy and her perfectly unattainable fantasies. Until you have walked two moons in my shoes, until you have reached a point in which even a vacuum of light should be infinitely brighter than the darkness of your soul, then my obstinacy shall remain without expiration. Leave me alone if you find my actions of a despicable and incorrigible sort. If I go insane for want of proper execution and success, at least I will do so with the perfect happiness of someone in pursuit of her dreams, in pursuit of her very salvation!

Use me, abuse me, whatever you wish to do with me, but never tell me to what extent I am allowed to dream, allowed to imagine. Take away my eyes so that I may be blind, but never deprive me of vision. Take away my legs so that I may not walk, but rest assured that the journey will not cease at that.

Passion is all that I have, and I intend to keep it.



This post was written for everyone that has ever doubted me.